Reflections

I saw myself on the train yesterday.

I was taking the red line from Alewife in, sorta sitting to the front of the middle of a car. We weren't too many stops in so not many people. I was looking around reading what was posted for me to read because I figure me reading the ads keeps the prices down right? and people watching in such a way so as not to be staring at any one person and then mostly just staring off into space. (This is what I do on the T. I enjoy it. You don't have to. You can read your book or play games or music on your Ipod. Leave me be and I will pretend not to watch you.) I was staring frontwards and I could sort of see in the car in front of me and I realized that there was someone who looked shockingly like me staring back at me from that car but it wasn't a reflection because the person was wearing a blue coat with a fluffy hood and I had on my black wool coat. Now I took this in all in half a second and instead of locking eyes with the person staring I looked away slowly cause I am not an blatant in your face people watcher like some emo kids (just daring you to look them in the eye so they can think mean thoughts at you because you must hate them and you surely dont understand). And in an appropriate bit of time I looked forward again because damn, I am in that car. And that person was definitely still there but the car went around a bend as I looked up and I got to see the head, the shockingly me like head, detach from the blue coated body and hover staring at me beside a round Chinese face bundled in a blue coat. And to be truthful I sucked in a quick breath when my head got pulled off. It was me...but it wasn't me. And I know it was just reflections but it was still pretty creepy. Sigh...the existential.

I saw myself on the subway yesterday.

My clock says 8:20

Windshield wipers
…and on that account windshields
…but we will stick to the wipers for the moment.

The other day I was driving and the sun was shining and everything was going great…and unlike most stories that start with the sun was shining and everything was going great, everything continued to go great and I thought to myself…I am really glad that I have windshield wipers that work. Pause with me for a minute.

That was a pause for a swig of beer. Now think that through…why on God’s green earth does one think of windshield wipers when its not raining and they are in perfectly good condition but not needed at all. I don’t know.

But it got me to thinking…what else am I not using or not needing right now that still works and I take for granted? See its easy to complain about something when it stops working (like the other day when it was snowing and the wipers were part frozen and the part of the windshield right in front of my vision wouldn’t come clean) and when you are using something lots of times you still remember to be thankful about it (Like when I didn’t have good wipers for a couple of months and then I put new ones on and the next day it POURED). But what about all of the stuff that works and works well even when you don’t need it.

Like how about that clock. Yeah the one you just looked at. You probly hadn’t looked at it for a while until I just mentioned it and you probably didn’t need to look then. But it’s still working. And boy, aren’t you glad it works even when you don’t need it. Because if it stopped keeping time when you were in another room it wouldn’t be much good.

Windshield wipers.

More better than a cover letter

Not Every Café (Ipswich 12/04/07)

There is love and there is life and place to sit down and write and places that cant help but to be wrong.
I watch people walk and people talk and people watch each other going by.
And billboards scream commercial things. Did you know I can do anything if I just buy that lipstick cherry red?
Down the city streets a machine sweeps and discarded pink-orange cups go down the drain.
Meanwhile, my coffee cup keeps filling up by the window where I watch the rain come down.
And I think that maybe love and life dance upon a razor knife. It isn’t like a fairy tale at all.
Each step hurts and each spin cuts. Lovers, livers all are nuts, but they keep dancing lest they fall away.
And maybe to love true and deep you have to callous up your feet, walk barefoot nearly every single day.
But before I tease it in to sense my breakfast money is all spent and cream cheese clings to my finger tips.
Yes there is love and there is life and places to sit down and write, but as for this café, I’m moving on.

-Jn